Round One, Game Two (2013-14 CPKC) sharpie over irish

Each autumn our star parodists come out and play.

Choose One

Poll ended at Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:23 pm

Fairytale of Lenny Dykstra/Lenny Dykstra/The Pogues featuring Kristy MacColl; Fairytale of New York
19
79%
Jeffrey/Jeff Wilpon/Pearl Jam; Jeremy
5
21%
 
Total votes : 24

Round One, Game Two (2013-14 CPKC) sharpie over irish

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:23 pm

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J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

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Image
Last edited by batmagadanleadoff on Sat Jan 18, 2014 8:06 pm, edited 8 times in total.

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:29 pm

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J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

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FAIRYTALE OF LENNY DYKSTRA

Setting: Victorville Federal Correctional Complex, April 1, 2013

Well, it’s Opening Day, Len
In the jailhouse
I think it’s safe to say: won’t be there for this one
And when they sing that song
The one called “Meet the Mets”
I’ll turn my face away and dream about you
You were a pesky one
They called you Nails and Dude
I’ve got a feeling
You ‘roided from the start
So, scrappy cellmate
It’s time for lockdown
I can see a better time
When we get sprung from here.

I drove cars big as bars
Got paid millions in gold
And Ponzi’d a scheme up
For when I got old
When I first was brought up on a cold day in May
I knew that I’d be a big star out at Shea

I was handsome

You were gritty

King of New York City
Walk-off in playoffs and they’re screaming for more
Strawberry was swinging Hernandez was drinking
We knew that this meant there’d be pennants galore

And the fans of the M-E-T-S piled out near Flushing Bay
And the bells were ringing out at Dear Old Shea


Eighty-nine the Mets stunk
McIlvaine’s in a funk
He traded you with McDowell for Juan Sam-u-el

That scumbag that faggot that cheap lousy maggot
McIlvaine had no class, just as soon kick his ass

And the fans of the M-E-T-S fired shots near Flushing Bay
And the knives were coming out at Dear Old Shea

You could have played clean, Len…

Well so could anyone
They all remember me
‘Cause I’m a hustler

You drank and smashed a car
You ripped off all your friends
But on the Mets you shone
We hate Samuel still

And the fans of the M-E-T-S admire Lenny to this day
As the wrecking ball has come to Dear Old Shea






Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:30 pm

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J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

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Jeffrey - based on jeremy from Pearl Jam

At Shea in 86,
Hanging out with Mookie
And Greg Pavlick
With him on top
Fred Wilpon’s son
Raised in Greenwich
With swimming pools and privilege

Freddie didn’t give attention
To the fact that young Jeffrey
Was a wicked dick----head

Jeffrey took batting practice today
Jeffrey took batting practice today

Rodger McDowell remembers spitting
On the boy
Seemed a harmless little fuck
Gary Carter and Barry Lyons
Shagged flies with the booooooooy

Jeffrey took batting practice today
Jeffrey took batting practice today

He would never forget
The first time he saw Keith
Doing coke in the bathrooooooom
His jaw dropped
Hit Keith with a surprise left

Freddie didn’t give attention
To the fact that young Jeffrey
Was a wicked dick----head

Jeffrey took batting practice today
Jeffrey took batting practice today
Fred tries to forget this
Tries to erase this
King Jeffrey the wicked dick---------head


Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby themetfairy » Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:46 pm

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Lady Met -- Mascot, 1964-present

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Both great parodies. I went with the Fairytale of Lenny Dykstra because I found it poignant.
In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, "I have finished." There is a lot of satisfaction in that - Fred Lebow

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby metsmarathon » Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:52 pm

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metsmarathon
shea stadium's running met

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i can't get the "jeffery took batting practice today" line to work for me. what am i doing wrong?
the first step is admitting you're a runner.

running is a mental sport, and we're all insane.

"i think that's why the marathon is so addicting. because you always want more." - shalane flanagan

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby d'Kong76 » Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:03 pm

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David Arthur Kingman, 1B-OF-3B 1975-1977, 1981-1983

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Went with Fairytale, nicely done!!

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby Vic Sage » Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:04 pm

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Tim Leary, failed blue-chip prospect and LSD enthusiast

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i voted for Batmags.
"It's not the answers that matter, it's the questions."

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby seawolf17 » Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:19 pm

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Phantom Met Terrel Hansen. Two days, zero games, 1992

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metsmarathon wrote:i can't get the "jeffery took batting practice today" line to work for me. what am i doing wrong?

If you smush "batting" into one syllable, church-hymn style? I'm singing it:

Jeremy spoke in cla- a- a- ss today
Jeffery to- ok batt'ng practice today
I believe that someday I will punch that arrogant foreman at the plant square on his fat nose; that I will get in the last word with my wife; that I will win the Irish sweepstakes; that the Mets will start a winning streak.

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby smg58 » Wed Jan 15, 2014 3:30 pm

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164) Ray Knight, 3B, 1B, 2B, 1984-1986

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I was thinking "Jeromy sucked at Shea today," but that's an entirely different subject.

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby TransMonk » Wed Jan 15, 2014 4:21 pm

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TransMonk
4) Jerry Koosman, SP, RP, 1967-1978

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Went with Dykstra. Good stuff.
I am a patient boy...I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait.

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby John Cougar Lunchbucket » Wed Jan 15, 2014 4:32 pm

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Eddie Yost, 3B Coach 1968-1975

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Dykstra beating on Ike like he owes him money.
Let me tell you something: I have a big set of balls.

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr » Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:12 pm

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Harold W. O'Shaughnessy, Senior VP and Treasurer

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Nail-ed it.
"Classic rock NEVER takes the weekend off."

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby Zvon » Wed Jan 15, 2014 8:29 pm

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Tommie Lee Agee. Mets Centerfielder, 1968-1972.

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seawolf17 wrote:
metsmarathon wrote:i can't get the "jeffery took batting practice today" line to work for me. what am i doing wrong?

If you smush "batting" into one syllable, church-hymn style? I'm singing it:

Jeremy spoke in cla- a- a- ss today
Jeffery to- ok batt'ng practice today


I thought going with 3 syllables on Jeff-er-y was key. Many people pronounce the name as Jeff-ree.
Every man in America is an authority on baseball.If you don’t believe that, just ask one.Regrettably, most of the knowledge they have was accumulated by about age 12.Much of it is correct;a lot of it is not.~Bill Shannon

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby Fman99 » Wed Jan 15, 2014 8:39 pm

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Sidd Finch, P, 1985, 168 MPH

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Pity vote for Pearl Jam.
POW! You've been Fmanned!

Re: Round One, Game Two

Postby G-Fafif » Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:21 pm

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Mike Vail: Owner, 23-Game Hitting Streak

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These contests remind me how much talent resides in the Pool. Nice jobs, plural.
“And if anyone tries to tell you it can't be done, remember the Mets. If they can do it, we can do it.”
—John V. Lindsay, 1969

Re: Round One, Game Two (2013-14 CPKC) *POLL ENDED*

Postby Zvon » Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:29 pm

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Tommie Lee Agee. Mets Centerfielder, 1968-1972.

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One draw back of the anonymous business is we don't know how to congratulate the winner. This could work tho:

CONGRATULATIONS WINNER!

I suppose naming names will create a process of elimination.
Every man in America is an authority on baseball.If you don’t believe that, just ask one.Regrettably, most of the knowledge they have was accumulated by about age 12.Much of it is correct;a lot of it is not.~Bill Shannon


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