Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC) LWFS over Fman

Each autumn our star parodists come out and play.

Choose One

Poll ended at Sat Jan 18, 2014 1:55 pm

Untitled/Ike Davis/Robin Thicke featuring T.I. & Pharrell Williams: Blurred Lines
16
80%
Untitled/Harry Chiti/Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Soundtrack: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
4
20%
 
Total votes : 20

Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC) LWFS over Fman

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Thu Jan 16, 2014 1:55 pm

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batmagadanleadoff
J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

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Image
Last edited by batmagadanleadoff on Sat Jan 18, 2014 8:09 pm, edited 4 times in total.

Re: Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Thu Jan 16, 2014 1:57 pm

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J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

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How do I Start Me Up... [Sigh]
Okay, 'kay, 'kay
Okay, 'kay, 'kay
Calm down, it's May

If I can't see what I'm trying to hit
Then I can't hit, ergo I ain't worth shit
Maybe I'll squint real hard
Maybe open 'em wide
Maybe I'll blink like a ne-e-on sign

Ok, now that was close
He tried to jam and shame you
But you're a power guy
Extend, it's in your nature
Just load and step and rip, you
Don't let the shoulder dip, you
Shit, strike, and now it's 1-2
Just know I'm gonna take a

Good pitch
You know I want one
He knows I want one
Lord knows I want one
Just one good pitch
Can't let it get past me
No matter how fast-y
Lest Duda get past me
I hate these blurred zones
Stop overthinking
And all the blinking
Quit Jager drinking
Wait, that was GOOD, blue?
That's off the corner
That's on the corner?
THAT's on the corner?

What happened here, Bambino?
Make more wind than El Nino
I hope you like casinos
You're desert-bound, you bitch, if you chase
You used to slug, me; now you just shrug, me
I need a hug, me
Hey!

Baby, I had some hype
Just shy of Straw or Seaver
Now I can't even CATCH
But I'll catch Valley Fever
Please God, help with my slumping
Flailing and jumping
Satin's in Vegas, thumping
Oh, God, can't miss another

Good pitch
I know it's coming
Down Broadway humming
My Swing-Now Sense is thrumming
Good pitch
Can't let it get past me
His slider's nasty
Janet Jackson nasty
And now these blurred zones
I know what balls are
But now these calls are
chafing MY balls, arggh
You've BEEN a good ump
And now you call THAT?
I couldn't hit that
With a five-foot bat

Image
One side, the Duda's here
Lemme say, your swing looks cool from here
Never mind the jeers, have those beers
And settle right down into your worst fear
Swing over, swing under, or swing through
I'll be waiting, 'cause waiting's what I do
Panini-pressin', you can't act casual?
I'll be waiting graveside at your funeral
In a hundred years not dare would I
Jump too fast at a chance that offends my eye
No hurrying guy, I'm too chill for that
Resting pulse of a sluggish bass like that
So I'm just watching and waitin'
No matter what they're giving, I'm takin'
Sandy likes my down-to-first limpin'
So the Duda Bides, and does some Boo Radley pimpin'


Forget the ump
Breathe in, breathe out
Remember who you've been, what you've been
Keep your fanny in
Hey!

Ok, that's off the black
Tried to reverse-backdoor you
Now here comes 2-seam cheese
Shit, no, it's 10-to-4, you
Keep motherfuggin' guessing
You don't need the pressing
The two-strike doggy-messing
And that's why I can't miss a

Good pitch
I'm gonna deck 'er
An upper-decker
Or toilet-wrecker
Here's a good pitch
Come on, let's do 'er
Ignore the booers
Get off your poo'er
Fug these blurred zones
Let the pitcher nibble
No time for quibble
Let's whack a triple
You're a good Ike
Let's shoot the moon now
And stop the swoon now
Oh, Christ, it's June now

Let's start-a me up
Let's start-a me up
Fuckshit now I'm up
Hey, Hey, Hey
Hey, Hey, Hey
Hey, Hey, Hey

Re: Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:00 pm

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J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

Posts: 15101
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Chiti Chiti
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang.
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang.
Chiti Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Oh you shitty Chiti Bang Bang,
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
We love you.
And, in Chicago and KC and Detroit too
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
What we'll do.
Trade for you from Cleveland and then send your interstate ass back again.
Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Our knuckler catching friend.
Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Our knuckler catching friend.
Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Oh you shitty Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
We love you.
And, in
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
What we'll do.
Sucking a big fat tuna in '62
Brought you in but you won't do.
Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Our fastball missing friend.
Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Our no hit no catch friend.
Your bat's a limp noodle like your meat.
Your glove is like a toilet seat.
You'll turn everybody's head today.
We'll glide down to the NL cellar
With Chiti driving us and the other fellers
The envy of none we survey.
Oh Chiti You Chiti
Shitty Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
We love you.
And Chiti, in Chiti
Shitty Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang what we'll do.
Near Chiti, far Chiti, in '62
You won't have a single RBI.
Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
There must be Chiti in your eye.
Bang Bang Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Our no homer hitting shitty hitting friend.....(hold)
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Chiti Chiti Bang Bang
Fine fastball missing Chiti Chiti friend.


Re: Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby John Cougar Lunchbucket » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:05 pm

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John Cougar Lunchbucket
Eddie Yost, 3B Coach 1968-1975

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Wow. That's finals-level Ike material. Hope whoever wrote that has something let for the next round.
Let me tell you something: I have a big set of balls.

Re: Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Benjamin Grimm » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:18 pm

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Benjamin Grimm
Ralph Kiner
Hall of Famer/Broadcaster

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Location: The Baxter Building
I find that I have to fight the instinct to read all of these entries to the tune of Cat's in the Cradle.

I also think that by the time we're done, we'll have enough material to put on a rock opera about Ike Davis.

Re: Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby d'Kong76 » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:29 pm

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d'Kong76
David Arthur Kingman, 1B-OF-3B 1975-1977, 1981-1983

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Location: Glutenville, NY
Voted for our fine-four-fendered friend because I flirted
with making that work and came up lame. Nice job.

Re: Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby themetfairy » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:30 pm

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themetfairy
Lady Met -- Mascot, 1964-present

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Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:12 pm
I will admit to being prejudiced against Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, because I heard the song way to often as a kid.

But prejudices aside, Blurred Zones is just brilliant!

I know what balls are
But now these calls are
chafing MY balls, arggh


Awesome!
In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, "I have finished." There is a lot of satisfaction in that - Fred Lebow

Re: Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby d'Kong76 » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:41 pm

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d'Kong76
David Arthur Kingman, 1B-OF-3B 1975-1977, 1981-1983

Posts: 19246
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Location: Glutenville, NY
themetfairy wrote:I will admit to being prejudiced against Chitty Chitty Bang Bang


Song selection and genre has long been a factor in this
fine long-running CPF tradition.

Re: Round One, Game Seven (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby A Boy Named Seo » Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:22 am

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A Boy Named Seo
111) Jeromy Burnitz, RF, CF, LF, DH, 1993-1994, 2002-2003

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That Ike parody was Janet Jackson nasty!
Great Googily Moogily!


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