Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) TMonk over G-Fafif

Each autumn our star parodists come out and play.

Choose One

Poll ended at Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:53 am

Oh God No!/Frank Tanana/The Beach Boys: Kokomo
10
43%
Tom's Horror/Tom Glavine/Rush: Tom Sawyer
13
57%
 
Total votes : 23

Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) TMonk over G-Fafif

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:53 am

User avatar
batmagadanleadoff
J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

Posts: 14955
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:47 pm
Last edited by batmagadanleadoff on Sun Feb 02, 2014 11:48 pm, edited 5 times in total.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:54 am

User avatar
batmagadanleadoff
J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

Posts: 14955
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:47 pm
Oh God No!/Frank Tanana/The Beach Boys: Kokomo

Mike Maddux, Wayne Housie
As Mets they sure were lousy
Jeff Kaiser, Mike Draper
Way inside the paper
Goose Gozzo, Navarro
Release them all tomorrow

Tanana —
Nineteen Ninety-Three
When we would mutter, “Oh God No!”
That’s when we sank below
The expansion Marlin team

Buried deep in last
Torborg and Harazin fired fast
They were wailing in angst
From this abominable cast
Moaning, “Oh God No!”

Doug Saunders, Ced Landrum
Inevitable tantrum
Thompson and Burnitz
Giving Dallas Green fits

Tony Fernandez
Developed kidney stones
Groaning, “Oh God No!”

You can’t blame Frank
For growing very old
He turned the big four-oh
Murmuring, “Oh God No!”

Young Butch
Husk-ey
He wasn’t quite ready

They’d swap Frank for Greer
Near the end of this bitter year
Kenny had to wonder
What the hell
Was going on here

Loads of Jeff McKnight
Vince Coleman’s dynamite
Is there some bleach in your eye?
Bret Saberhagen swore he aimed high
Griping, “Oh God No!”

HoJo, Jeff Innis
Careers were nearly finished
Hillman and Weston
Tide togs they looked best in

Bob Klapisch invited
Over the Triborough
By Bobby Bo

He’ll show the Bronx
It’s just a stone’s throw
Jay Horwitz didn’t glow
“Oh Bobby — Oh God No!”

P...R mess
Would Jay withstand
The stress?

Tanana couldn’t know
Ninety-Three would bring historic lows
When it was time to leave Shea
Nobody heard Frankie say
“When’s Old-Timers Day?”

AY kept tryin’
But wasn’t Nolan Ryan
Paul Gibson’s fastball
Barely nudged O’Brien

Jeff Kent’s bad actin’
Findin’ ‘Darrin Jackson
Contracts Graves Disease’

Explained his sum
Of only seven ribbies
Geez, what a tale of woe
Sighing, “Oh God No!”

Gallagher, Telgheder
The stories they’d tell later
Of Baez and Bogar
And Josi Manzanillo

Murray stayed silent
While driving in a hundred
Of his fellow schmoes

They weren’t civil
And they’d trudge real slow
Small wonder fans would go:
“Tickets? Oh God No!”

The Doctor did not draw
Nor Schourek or Chic’ Walker
Attendance reduced to
Joe Orsulak’s lone stalker

Few souls would witness
The last of Sid Fernandez
There is this note, though —

Todd Hundley survived
As did Bobby Jones
Plus that cockroach John Franco
It shows ya never know


Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:55 am

User avatar
batmagadanleadoff
J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

Posts: 14955
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:47 pm
Tom's Horror

A hated Brave formerly
Bona fide
The ace Tom Glavine
The Mets signed

Though he never liked QuesTec
Don't put him down as arrogant
Got a win in the LCS
He was consistent for the Mets
Three hundred…

One can speak about his pedigree
But all he had that day was brevity
What a twist, playoffs missed
Dash the history, fans were stiffed

The Marlins', The Marlins'
Lineup was too deep
The postseason hopes all died

That day - Tom's horror!
It was all bad news
Man, the top of the first
He could not get through

Then he blew it with the press
Not "devastated" with his mess
And because of this one event
Now the loathing is permanent
The loathing

One can speak about his pedigree
But in this town he's hung in effigy
Catch the sickness, playoffs missed
Dash the spirits, dodge the spit

The Marlins', The Marlins'
Lineup was too deep
The postseason hopes all died

Now a Met formerly
The hated Tom Glavine
Was he all bad news?
Let me sum it up this way
There will always be the memory of that day


Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Edgy MD » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:00 pm

User avatar
Edgy MD
Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

Posts: 90299
Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2002 2:03 pm
Location: Baltimore
Torn I am. Both go deep and wide and strong.
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Centerfield » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:10 pm

User avatar
Centerfield
4) Jerry Koosman, SP, RP, 1967-1978

Posts: 9789
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:37 am
Edgy channeling gay Yoda.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby d'Kong76 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:19 pm

User avatar
d'Kong76
David Arthur Kingman, 1B-OF-3B 1975-1977, 1981-1983

Posts: 19122
Joined: Tue May 31, 2005 7:56 pm
Location: Glutenville, NY
I can feel Geddy shrieking, "The loathing!"

One can speak about his pedigree
But in this town he's hung in effigy
Catch the sickness, playoffs missed
Dash the spirits, dodge the spit

Bravo

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Edgy MD » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:22 pm

User avatar
Edgy MD
Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

Posts: 90299
Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2002 2:03 pm
Location: Baltimore
The Braves' Tom Glavine: Hall of Fame
The Mets' Tom Glavine: LOST THAT GAME!
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby John Cougar Lunchbucket » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:42 pm

User avatar
John Cougar Lunchbucket
Eddie Yost, 3B Coach 1968-1975

Posts: 30861
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 7:47 pm
Lolllling at both entries.

I am leaning toward the pairing of Stamos-era cruise-ship rock with the ugly subject matter.

As I recall maybeboth of these tunes were used in a former contests. Kokomo for sure and I have vague memories I might have used Tom Sawyer once. Did I?
Let me tell you something: I have a big set of balls.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Edgy MD » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:48 pm

User avatar
Edgy MD
Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

Posts: 90299
Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2002 2:03 pm
Location: Baltimore
I used Tom Sawyer in an extra-contestual context once.

    Today's Tom Seaver: mean, mean vine
    Today's Tom Seaver: mean, mean wine!

... but I salute this as a superior effort.

Both are wordy with bouncy meter and are irresistible selections. Latino ballplayer names fit nicely into Caribbean island names.

I never knew there had been a Stamos era in American history. #themoreyouknow!
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Edgy MD » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:01 pm

User avatar
Edgy MD
Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

Posts: 90299
Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2002 2:03 pm
Location: Baltimore
It's still a 1-1 tie! Looks like I'm not the only one who's fundecided.
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby themetfairy » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:03 pm

User avatar
themetfairy
Lady Met -- Mascot, 1964-present

Posts: 18056
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:12 pm
Awesome work!
In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, "I have finished." There is a lot of satisfaction in that - Fred Lebow

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:09 pm

User avatar
LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
Harold W. O'Shaughnessy, Senior VP and Treasurer

Posts: 22943
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Location: Boogie Down
I've been praying on this on and off for an hour, and I'm still no closer.

"Kokomo" is a better comic song choice, but the degree of difficulty with "Tom Sawyer." This might come down to me going through yet another pass and, like, counting laughs or something.
"Classic rock NEVER takes the weekend off."

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Mets Willets Point » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:10 pm

User avatar
Mets Willets Point
75) Bartolo Colon; SP, RP; 2014-2016

Posts: 5572
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:53 pm
I think "Oh God No!" loses points for not really being about Tanana. A great 1993 Mets Team parody though.
Mr. Met knows; he's seen some shit.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Edgy MD » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:14 pm

User avatar
Edgy MD
Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

Posts: 90299
Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2002 2:03 pm
Location: Baltimore
Hmm.... HMMMM.....
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:18 pm

User avatar
LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
Harold W. O'Shaughnessy, Senior VP and Treasurer

Posts: 22943
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Location: Boogie Down
But then, "Kokomo" is a little funnier, and "Sawyer" has that thing where the parodist uses the exact same lyric line as the song once or twice, to no particular effect. Bugaboo of mine.
"Classic rock NEVER takes the weekend off."

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Edgy MD » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:31 pm

User avatar
Edgy MD
Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

Posts: 90299
Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2002 2:03 pm
Location: Baltimore
HMMMM....
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby d'Kong76 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:36 pm

User avatar
d'Kong76
David Arthur Kingman, 1B-OF-3B 1975-1977, 1981-1983

Posts: 19122
Joined: Tue May 31, 2005 7:56 pm
Location: Glutenville, NY
Went with the Canadian Metal-Men. Kokomo is well
played but gosh that song is annoying. A bugaboo of
mine. They should have swam off into the sunset after
Endless Summer and be done with it.
Last edited by d'Kong76 on Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:54 pm

User avatar
LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
Harold W. O'Shaughnessy, Senior VP and Treasurer

Posts: 22943
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Location: Boogie Down
That it's so horrible is what it's got going for it, Kase.

But ultimately, the straying-from-topic/cataloguing aspect point-penalties in my head slotted "Kokomo" JUST behind the Canuckshot.
"Classic rock NEVER takes the weekend off."

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby d'Kong76 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:56 pm

User avatar
d'Kong76
David Arthur Kingman, 1B-OF-3B 1975-1977, 1981-1983

Posts: 19122
Joined: Tue May 31, 2005 7:56 pm
Location: Glutenville, NY
LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote:That it's so horrible is what it's got going for it, Kase.


Fair point, I suppose you are right.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:09 pm

User avatar
batmagadanleadoff
J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

Posts: 14955
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:47 pm
This one's been neck and neck, back and forth from the start, with no contestant ever maintaining more than a one vote lead.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Edgy MD » Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:35 pm

User avatar
Edgy MD
Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

Posts: 90299
Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2002 2:03 pm
Location: Baltimore
You should enable vote changing, because I imagine I'd have use for it.
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:40 pm

User avatar
batmagadanleadoff
J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

Posts: 14955
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:47 pm
Edgy MD wrote:You should enable vote changing, because I imagine I'd have use for it.


Done.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Zvon » Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:13 pm

User avatar
Zvon
Tommie Lee Agee. Mets Centerfielder, 1968-1972.

Posts: 26305
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 3:24 pm
Location: New Joysey
Wow. Both great. These lines from the Tom Sawyer one tip it for me:
And because of this one event
Now the loathing is permanent
Every man in America is an authority on baseball.If you don’t believe that, just ask one.Regrettably, most of the knowledge they have was accumulated by about age 12.Much of it is correct;a lot of it is not.~Bill Shannon

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby MFS62 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:17 pm

User avatar
MFS62
Brian Cole, Outfield Prospect, 1978-2001

Posts: 21737
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:59 pm
Location: Connecticut
Edgy MD wrote:The Braves' Tom Glavine: Hall of Fame
The Mets' Tom Glavine: LOST THAT GAME!

I can just hear Billy Joel singing that in "We Didn't Start the Fire".

Later
I'm smarter than you think you are.

Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby metsmarathon » Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:34 pm

User avatar
metsmarathon
shea stadium's running met

Posts: 11377
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 3:39 pm
Location: miles from the start, and miles from the finish
sawyer is good. really hangs onto the original tune. not only does it effectively convey the desired content without needing to contrive around unnecessarily to fill a verse, but it also scores on degree of difficulty.
the first step is admitting you're a runner.

running is a mental sport, and we're all insane.

"i think that's why the marathon is so addicting. because you always want more." - shalane flanagan

Next

Return to Crane Pool Forum Song Parody Contest

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest