Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC) sharpie over Lefty

Each autumn our star parodists come out and play.

Choose One

Poll ended at Sun Feb 02, 2014 1:49 am

Shoulder Held Together With Screws/Frank Tanana/Paul Simon: Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes
13
68%
You're So Lame/Tom Glavine/Carly Simon: You're So Vain
6
32%
 
Total votes : 19

Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC) sharpie over Lefty

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:49 am

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J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

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Last edited by batmagadanleadoff on Sun Feb 02, 2014 11:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:50 am

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J.P. Ricciardi. Special Assistant to the GM

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SHOULDER HELD TOGETHER WITH SCREWS

(A-wa a-wa) orsulak o manzanillo o hillman
(A-wa a-wa) pete schourek huskey ah todd hundley
(A-wa a-wa) mo gozzo eddie murray bonilla...


They're a bad team
It's no use to hide it
Worst team that money could buy

They need pitching
McIlvaine says “Fuck it”
McIlvaine says “fuck it, got nothing to lose”
Signs Tanana
Tanana-na
He's got a shoulder held together with screws
Tanana
Tanana-na
He's got a shoulder held together with screws
Shoulder held together with screws
Shoulder held together with screws
Shoulder held together with screws
Shoulder held together with screws

People got real crazy
When they all read it in the Daily News
Well that's one way to lose in orange and blue
Shoulder held together with screws

Frank's game had physically gone rotten
But his arm was sure a rocket
On the Angels
He once did lead the league in strikeouts and was an All Star
Wearing those h—a—l—o--s

And Frank would say oo oo oo
As if anybody knows
How he could get guys out
As if anybody here would know
Exactly how he could get guys out
Sporting that shoulder held together with screws

Hundley makes the sign for a fastball
Frank throws it slow like a curve
The old guy changes speeds
And tries to sneak one away
To compensate for his ordinary stuff

And he said my pitches they are dancing
But guys ended up all hitting
Them a fair way
Past the scoreboard and by the rats out there in Flushing Bay
'Cause of that shoulder held together with screws

And fans would say boo hoo hoo
And everybody there would know
What they all were crying out
I mean everybody there would know exactly
What they were crying out
Crying out “Dump him!”

Frank was traded to the Yankees
And then hung up his cleated shoes
Well, his career was minute
In orange and blue
Shoulder held together with screws

Tanana
Tanana-na
(Repeat to fade out)


Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby batmagadanleadoff » Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:51 am

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"You're So Lame"/Tom Glavine/”You’re So Vain”- Carly Simon

You strolled onto the ballclub like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically creased, pretending that
New York was your favorite spot
You had one eye on Atlanta as you watched the Mets slow rot….

And all the fans dreamed that you’d be their savior
You’d be their savior, and......

You're so lame, the Tomahawk will always define you
You're so lame (so lame), I'll bet you still think Smoltz is behind you
Don't You? Don't You?


You had us several years ago when we were still quite naive
Well you said Queens and you were a pretty pair
And that we would never grieve
But you gave away that Marlins game, and knew then that you were free

You had some dreams, Bobby Cox in your coffee
Cox in your coffee, and......

You're so lame, the painful losses never disturbed you
You're so lame (so lame), I'll bet you still think Smoltz is behind you
Don't You? Don't You?


Well I hear you sneaked down to old Turner Field when your Braves naturally won
Then you flew Greg Maddux to Waialea
To have a full day of golf in the sun
Like a prisoner counting down the time
Three-hundredth win, who with?

You’ll never deny it, that Chipper’s a close friend
Chipper’s a close friend, and.....

You're so lame, the Tomahawk will always define you
You're so lame (so lame), I'll bet you still think Smoltz is behind you
Don't You? Don't You? Don't You?




Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby themetfairy » Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:43 am

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Lady Met -- Mascot, 1964-present

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Great work guys!

The Paul Simon/Tanana worked for me a little better, so I went for that one.
In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, "I have finished." There is a lot of satisfaction in that - Fred Lebow

Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby d'Kong76 » Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:01 am

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David Arthur Kingman, 1B-OF-3B 1975-1977, 1981-1983

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He's got a shoulder held together with screws = brilliant

Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby MFS62 » Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:25 am

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Brian Cole, Outfield Prospect, 1978-2001

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Wow!
Two really good parodies.
The battle of the Simons.
It was tougher to match the Paul Simon song, and that swung my vote in that direction.
But the Carly Simon song would have won my vote in most other contests.

Later
I'm smarter than you think you are.

Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Edgy MD » Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:40 am

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Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

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"Shoulder Held Together with Screws" has to be from the same guy who brought us "Every Day I Wrap the Foot."

How did the world let Paul Simon get away with that wig?
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.

Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Zvon » Fri Jan 31, 2014 4:31 pm

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Zvon
Tommie Lee Agee. Mets Centerfielder, 1968-1972.

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I haven't read these yet, just the titles.

Shoulder Held Together With Screws = Diamond On The Soles Of Her Shoes.

Just that title alone should win something! Ha.
Every man in America is an authority on baseball.If you don’t believe that, just ask one.Regrettably, most of the knowledge they have was accumulated by about age 12.Much of it is correct;a lot of it is not.~Bill Shannon

Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC)

Postby Zvon » Fri Jan 31, 2014 4:37 pm

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Zvon
Tommie Lee Agee. Mets Centerfielder, 1968-1972.

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How do I indicate that I think this one is a tie? Just by saying it?
This one's a tie. I abstain.
Every man in America is an authority on baseball.If you don’t believe that, just ask one.Regrettably, most of the knowledge they have was accumulated by about age 12.Much of it is correct;a lot of it is not.~Bill Shannon

Re: Round Two, Game 12 (2013-14 CPKC) sharpie over Lefty

Postby Edgy MD » Sun Feb 02, 2014 2:17 pm

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Rube Walker — Pitching Coach, 1968–1981

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Uh-oh. Sharpie is on his game.
I'll be your patron saint of heartbreak.


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